Battle of Brighton

Battle of the Superheroes: Brighton

Heat One

So, Friday 29th May. The time 19:00 , the place the Quadrant in Brighton.

I am to compete in the Star Trek arena that is the superhero battle show. The audience the court of geek.

If you have never seen the show the premise is simple. 3 acts choose their best superhero to state their case and show how righteous they are. There is a short recess from the opening arguments where the audience are tested and then ask questions of them. Then it comes to the final where all the heroes stand up in front of the court and win via round of applause.

Now this is a multiverse competition, heroes from any publisher and medium are welcome. I had played the role Uatu in a number of the challenges in Edinburgh . I had tried to avoid doing this competition as it’s not really my thing, but the continual derision and comments about how I could be a judge without ever being a contestant was growing. Personally I feel that like when acts complain that reviewers are scum because they never did a gig but, mob rules in this world.
So I needed to win this, and win it with a character that would be so obscure, but not too obscure, so I chose Rom: Spaceknight.

Admittedly I felt Rom would not be that obscure because Andrew had already won with him once, and it also heightened the tension as if he succeeded where I had failed I would be relegated to the zone of continued with the Primark poseurs of comic books for thinking I could judge.

So With 40 odd issues of Rom comics, bagged and boarded in my hand I set off on my epic voyage.
I would be competing against Rik Carranza who was bringing ‘Batman’ and Ant McEwan who would be bringing ‘Ant-Man’ two movie deal bastards against my simple rubber toy.

Paul Revill was MC and thus the adventure begins;

PART THE FIRST.
Paul started the show with his high energy ways, I had gotten my bag ready of ROM but I came overloaded. Paul asked a few questions and established this was a bunch of cinematic universe goers, although he did not notice the reference to David Hasselhoff one true believer threw in as the best Nick Fury ever.

I walked onto the stage with a Forbidden Planet bag in hand and started. I pulled out bagged and boarded ROMs to what I was hoping to be gasps of surprise.
No, they seemed scared and confused. I had overblown them by actually talking about comics. Then when trying to explain Rom and his work I slowly realised when explaining dire wraiths as a form of SKRULL. They did not know what SKRULLS were. I bleakly started just showing them covers to bring back the room with some vigour, even misnoticing one lead villain as Absorbing Man in my haste.
I left the stage tepid, and feared the future of the Spaceknight.

Then Rik ‘The Kid’ Carranza walked on, shouted ‘I’m Batman’ did a mic drop and walked off. This alone could have won it for him. He went on to espouse everything people like about Batman and even a few things they don’t, particularly his lack of keeping sidekicks alive. He even threw in real stories not just movies to prove himself. Although it was as he mentioned ‘Tower of Babel’ I knew that could be his undoing.

Ant McEwan , who did pop in and had only knew a little as he came in as a substitute. Ant-Man is never to be underestimated though and Ants own charm gave him more then a small chance of putting me in third place.

I knew I would have to work hard in the debate but before that came the audience quiz. Time for me to regroup my best covers of Rom and watch what happened.

PART THE SECOND.
More an intermission then an Interval as Paul started to test the crowd on their knowledge of comics. Name a few places, name a few films. But the best was three randoms who came up and each declaring a special ability , two guys who said “getting a round in” and “catching the bus” respectively and one lady who claimed her super power was “her chest”.

Unfortunately her chest was deflated after the opening heat question, name five black superheroes.
She could not think of one, came off stage, thought of one, then came back said Storm, then fluffed the 2nd round. It almost went wrong when one of the contestants said Green Lantern and Paul did not know that there were black Green Lanterns. Technically speaking they’re all green but you get the drift.

But after this interval of distraction trinkets we moved on to the bit I had to do my best for the legacy of all Spaceknights. The debate.

PART THE THIRD: ROMS REVENGE.

So it begins. We each talk a bit more about our characters. Batman pointed out I began as a toy, claiming I was a cheap 70’s rampant rabbit. I countered after he banged on about the charity work of the Wayne Foundation that Batman was the Jimmy Savile of superheroes given the abuse of the Ward’s. Ant-Man tried to say he does “like good stuff and that” to which I said “like beating your wife”. Things got tense and harsh and the questions required us to give a manifesto. I pulled out all the stops, name checking Bill Mantlo, saying if you don’t like toys you don’t like proper Transformers. And even when Paul thought it was getting too heated pointing out the strength of the other contenders. It was an even race until Batman pulled out a Rom replant water pistol and blasted me. Imagine Batman reduced to using a gun. I ignored it and went on with dignity but it was now in the hands of the mob.

PART THE FOURTH.

Applause came for Batman and Ant-Man, then it got to me….I WON! Well I say me, ROM won! By a clear margin, I was delighted, vindicated and happy I would never have to deal with the question about would I win. I DID

It was a delight and the never ending battle continues for Rom, not in movies, not in key chains, but simply, in comics.

The best place of them all!

The end

 

Rob Deb

 

Heat Two

 

After its Australian escapades Battle of Superheroes returned to UK shores, specifically to the Brighton Fringe. And in a room above a small pub in Brighton, the comic book universe would be rocked by an upset of oceanic proportions.

With regular show host Nik Coppin galavanting on the other side of the world, it was left to Robyn Perkins to host the proceedings. Yet despite her criminal lack of superhero knowledge, she ably guided the audience and two new acts through the debate.

The two newbies were James Bennison representing Hawkeye and Kahn Johnson representing Daredevil. Completing the line up was me, the perennial loser, yet to record a single victory in countless attempts. If this was to change I would clearly have to up my game but, always up for a challenge, and yet almost already conceding defeat, I opted to represent the joke of the comic universe. Yes, I decided to represent Aquaman.

Surely two characters from the more popular Marvel universe. Two characters who were popular in the mainstream thanks to the Avengers movies and the new Daredevil series. Surely these two would have no problem against a character whos main weakness is dehydration.

Despite their attempts to play the disability card, with Daredevil’s blindness and Hawkeye’s deafness, both of them fell to the ruler of the sea, whose only weapon on the day was a Poundland bought water pistol.

All that was left was for me to question why did Brighton vote for Aquaman to win that night when 24 hours previously they had voted for ROM Spaceknight over the Dark Knight himself. The answer was quickly provided by Kahn Johnson, Brightons by the sea isnt it.

Rik Carranza

Heat 3

Sadly, do to the absence of a hero having to pull out at the last minute due to personal issues, heat 3 could not take place.

Therefore, Rob Deb’s Rom and Rik Carranza’s Aquaman may be invited back in September, along with the winner or the Edinburgh season to do battle with each other for the brighton crown.

Watch this space!

Nik Coppin

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