This is a terrible film, this is a Troma level of terrible without the effects or even multiple cameras. But I have been asked by our editor to talk about the whole DVD and it is surprisingly rewarding. Even if the editor turns up halfway through and …. well he also asked me to review the whole experience so here you go.
Even before I begin I get the sinking feeling at the scrawl on the back of the envelope says the dvd is “out of sync”. Sighing I take it up stairs looking at the cover that is a montage to make a bad thing look even more trashy. Then I wait until the folks are away and get myself ready to review this.
Having not seen the first film (who did?) I was not sure about Pervo. Part Alan Partridge and part Chubby Brown, he is a survivor of some previous zombie women attack desperate to get back in the limelight. Grubby encounters with several entourages later and we see him taking a road trip to a deserted area with his adhoc entourage making up the fodder. One of them was on Big Brother and he seems as incapable as most of the script. The film is largely improvised, great. You need talent for improv or at least a tight script to rephrase from. This is just shouting cunt a lot. Which is kind of funny, with timing, nuance, pause. And the word cunt. But that’s not what happens.
Special mention should be given to the strong female super team “The Bad Habits”. Sizzling in sass as the Four Force Fox four they have a great chemistry and a sense of purpose but that is soon spent like one of Pervos “jokes” very quickly. Given how they do most of the genuine action there was a faint promise of me finally seeing the “renegade Nuns on Wheels vs Batwinged Bimbos From Hell” film I am constantly kickstarting but it never happens. All of this gets padded out with more and more scenes which it seems only exist to hit the magical feature length run time. I think it says a lot when the main zombie conversion only occurs a good forty minutes into the film. And they spend most of the film shuffling off the side of the camera like an irate mob from the Benny Hill Show. An obvious inspiration for some of the Japes, but again without the pacing, puns or levity.
Warren speed has given himself a tough role relying on sheer energy to bulldozer this through. However, the screen has amazing stopping power as does the makeup he must have endured to keep that look on throughout. On a low budget feature (the first of many low budget feature comments) if you can’t afford good shots to get the expression, then don’t cover the expression with kiss make up.
Watching this is Like watching through a flickering peephole for bad taste. The lighting is off. The location looks like holding placements/ those inter scene bits you would see on shitcoms to show where the groovy gang are now. Apparently, they only had one camera, and that camera could not move through any of the sequences. This film could do with a D.O.P and…another camera. Even iPhone level would have helped.
The commentary is in many ways a bizarre experience. After sitting through a badly shot, badly lit, poorly veiled softcore with no story we get a rather earnest viewpoint from the director who, bless him obviously put so much work into this. At every point. Yet for what. I get the feeling the relationship with warren was warren screaming what was important to his mind and the director being some freakishly capitulating soul. There is a drinking game to be had in this, down a shot every time he says “in a low budget movie” it’s almost like a mantra. Made even more incomprehensible as so many decisions about a low budget movie are poor. The wet t shirt scene serves no purpose, he knows it serves no purpose, but it makes the film feature length. That’s not a feature. That a short with some tits in it boring everyone. He is dedicated to trying to make a story. That did not happen. He is obsessed and to be fair to him he dolls out credit to all the people who made the film happen. From the sound mix to getting a ford Capri. The Capri is good for a scene and how much do you need to hear Pervo swear in High Def? watching my editor pratfall like a massively cheap Finsbury Park (The Harry Hill Show ed.) tribute was good but not enough is made of it. And some lighting would have helped a lot. Even another camera would have helped. And actors. And…you know what. Watch it with the commentary as it’s like the Don Quixote of fucking commentaries.
In short the film is nothing you haven’t seen clogging up the content folder of amazon prime to try and compete with the quality on Netflix. Its badly filmed and paced and the moments of game high kinetic punch it seems to try and capitalise on would have been better in a 15-minute short. I do bizarrely enough recommend this DVD. I recommend it because the commentary. If you’re interested in making films, whatever else these fuckers did it. You can learn so much from this and I know my next short will be better for it so with that in mind.